Tips for people who can't get rid of their kids.
The good news is that you really love your kids. The bad news is that you need to throw them out after the age of 19. If your kid is older than 19 and still living at home, you are not helping them cope with the real world. All that crap about "the world isn't as safe as it used to be" doesn't hold water. The world is just more complicated. 200 years ago, Indians roamed around here ripping off scalps and burning people alive. Your kid may get their Ipod stolen but their lives aren't in any real danger.
As long as your kids stay away from drugs and gambling, they have a pretty good chance of doing ok on their own. Living at home won't make a difference in that department anyway. All the druggies I know live with mom and dad because they don't have to pay rent!
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Make it really painful for them to stay home. |
Yelling at them doesn't do anyone any good. Being mean and disrespectful doesn't work either. Here are some ways to make it painful for your kids to live at home.
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Eliminate Their Bedroom |
After sleeping on the couch for about 2 months, they'll figure it out for themselves. Need an excuse? You just turned their bedroom into your personal office. |
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Make Them Pay Rent |
$500 is about the average rate for shared housing. Beware, this usually isn't enough to make them leave. Complete this task with a lease with late fees etc. |
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Make Them Do All the Unpleasant Chores |
Hey what's the matter? You've been doing all the unpleasant chores for 20 years. It's their turn. |
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Make Really Harsh Rules |
Curfew, no guests, no smoking, no TV after 4pm, force them awake at 5am, no eating in the living room... imagine prison life and make it happen. |
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Give them some alternative living opportunities. |
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Give them the security deposit for an apartment. |
Make it clear to them they are not coming back. Drive them around Boulder Highway and Charleston. Point out what happens to people who don't pay rent. |
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Give them the "asking down" on one of my properties. |
Make it clear to them they are not coming back and I don't put up with any late payments either. The cool thing is that your credit isn't on the line here. Your kids are building their own credit and you are giving them a decent shot at owning their own home. |
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Drop them off at the local university. |
The only thing most kids learn at college is how to drink and... other stuff that I learned. Match.com is significantly cheaper than a college degree. |
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Go to the nearest recruiter's office |
Your kids are safer in the military than at home. Consider this, your kid is more likely to get killed on the freeway than in Iraq. Your kids will learn valuable skills like discipline and integrity. |
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Give them alternative job opportunities. |
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Go to the nearest recruiter's office |
Ok - So I think military service should be mandatory. What better way can you give your kid life skills and get them out of your house in one bold move? |
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The Peace Corps is looking for help. |
Let your kid prove to the world that we aren't all big ugly Americans. |
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Send them on a "Mission". |
Many religions offer "missionary" work in other parts of the world. I'm not religious but I think its a great thing. The Mormons are definitely on to something here. |
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Pay to have your kid mentored. |
In days of old, parents would send kids off to study underneath a master craftsman or business owner. You may know a successful relative who would be interested in a similar arrangement. |
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I'm hoping that you were able to laugh at a few of my comments. Unfortunately, I meet too many single moms that don't get it. I actually met one woman who was paying for her son's 2006 truck, buying all the groceries, paid all the rent and utilities. The best part was that her son was 29! I am not joking. Two people stuck in a rent trap because mom couldn't let go. I see this every week and it kills me. |
