Tips for people going through a divorce.
Happens all the time - move on. Now is the time to channel all your mental energy into starting over. If you don't want to start over, get back on the phone and work it out.
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Eliminate Shared Credit Immediately |
Immediately cancel any cards or lines of credit that share your social security number. Focus on the big ticket items first - cars, houses and trade lines. |
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Shared House |
This is where everyone loses. Cut your losses right now! If you are the one moving out, make the person staying in the house buy you out or vice versa. Settle fast and take a loss. If your spouse doesn't want to sell, trade something of value and call your lawyer today. Determine the best way to quit claim the property and get your name off the note. If there is no equity in the property then there is nothing to fight over - walk away.
25% of my customers had their credit destroyed by their ex-spouse over a house. Or at least they claim it was.... whatever, cut your losses and move on. |
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You Will Downsize |
What kills me is the single mom that thinks she can afford the 4 bedroom she just left. Hello! Your income just got cut in half! If you think your ex-spouse will be paying for your new 4 bedroom, you've got some brutal education ahead.
The number one reason why single moms get stuck in the rent trap is because they have promised their kids the same lifestyle they had before the divorce. You came to my web site because you want to escape the rent trap. Now you can only afford a 2 bedroom so get ready for it. |
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You are starting over. |
Nearly every single mom or dad I do business with thinks they can keep the fairy tale life they had just a few months ago. You aren't in Kansas any more so get used to it. Your spouse took half (or more) of everything you own and you make less than you used to. Even if your spouse didn't make any money, they probably took care of the things you didn't want to (kids, yard, house, car repairs etc).
Picture yourself right out of high school, trade school or college and that's where you are today. The difference is you are smarter and wiser and will take you half the time to recover. But since you aren't used to starting over, let's review the basics:
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Tell The Kids |
Yep. Say good bye to Disney World this summer and the ballet classes. Tell them that it's going to be rough for a while until you get back on your feet. Get them mentally prepared for the long road ahead. If they are over 12, help them get a job. DO NOT BRIBE your kids to stay with you. Throwing Playstations and movie tickets at them does more harm than good. They want your time - not your toys. Now would be a great time to teach them the value of work. |
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Cut Expenses |
Cut expenses immediately. If you are driving a new car and making payments, sell it and buy a used one for cash. You'll save money on insurance and have one less thing that will drag your credit into the toilet. Eat out less often, shop at Goodwill... you know the drill. |
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Work Smarter |
What can you do outside of your full time work that will earn you more money and help you recover? Focus on working smarter - not harder. Commission only jobs on the side are an excellent way to make good money. |
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It's Ok to Be Humble |
If someone asks you to go on expensive evening tell them the truth "I'm living lean because of my divorce. We are going to rent a movie instead of going to the theater." They will respect you more than you think. |
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Stop Hating |
Yes your spouse was a jerk. The world is full of jerks. Jerks get what they deserve so you don't need to be vengeful. It's bad Karma and wastes your time. Stop wasting your mental energy on it - you need it for more constructive things. |
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Educate Yourself |
I'm not talking college or a new trade/skill. I'm talking about learning how to deal with your financial and emotional situation. If you can't or don't like to read, get some audio tapes. That stuff will change your life so get on it. |
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